Saturday, June 6, 2009

Doujinshi Dialogue Challenge #6

(Updated July 26, 2009) This was perhaps the most difficult challenge yet. I was most fond of *slurp!*'s entry because it fit in well with the entire scene (Tatsuro's surprised expression, Megumi removing her shoes, no panties). Well done! Thank you all for the submissions, and here are the runners-up:

kodi: "Stop! Ok, I believe you. You don't have to put the other shoe in there too!" (Aside from the fact that Megumi is actually holding her other shoe in her left hand, I did laugh out loud at this one. ^_^)
Azimuth: "Thank god you're not a guy!"
Anonymous: "Yahtzee!"

Congratulations to Ero-Otoko for winning previous Challenge #5!


The rules are simple: I have removed the original dialogue from a doujinshi (or eromanga) scene. All you have to do is think of replacement dialogue that brings a won
derfully humorous spin to the scene and submit your text entry by commenting on this post. You may also include some brief "situational information" in brackets. The entry that induces the most laughter will be declared the winner, and I will upload a professional edit of the scene with the winning text and the winner's name.

The scene for this sixth challenge comes from Yukimi's short story Ai no mama ni, Wagamama ni in which Megumi nonchalantly yet dramatically reveals her under-skirt secret to her completely caught-off-guard boyfriend Tatsuro. Good luck!

77 comments:

Argen said...

"OMG i hace X/Ray Vision"

that would be my contribution :P

btw im new in this blog :P

reaver said...

beautiful short story for this challenge... liked the eromanga very much indeed. like you say, the consensual nature makes it much easier to connect plus, the plot can then focus on the quirks of the characters as real people rather than just stereotyped entities

reaver said...

and where can i find more by author yukimi or similar works... that is of the same or relates situation, with characters that are real and relatable.. ?

Elegant Succubus said...

Argen: Welcome!
reaver: In addition to most works by Shimoyakedou, I would also recommend you check out the following titles by artist Yamatogawa: Aqua Bless, Witchcraft, and Tayu Tayu. All three feature loads of gorgeous artwork, consensual relationships, and original characters with memorable designs...

If you like Evangelion, I would strongly recommend another title by Yukimi called Eee, an erotic re-telling of what I feel is perhaps the single most sorrowful scene in the entire series... Although there is not much characterization in this title since it features already established characters, it is an in-depth look at what Maya might have been experiencing during her "instrumentality". The last page still chokes me up...

KuroNoTsubasa said...

"Your shoe is where?!?!?!"

Anonymous said...

You taught the dog what?!?!

Anonymous said...

wait
wat

Anonymous said...

"IMA CHARGIN MA LAZER!!!"

Darkkiller said...

"Dont fart!"

ManueLink64 said...

"I should wax more frequently"

or

"Thanks god, for the waxed floors"

assviper said...

"Gahh, you also shaved it just like your sister did!"

Azimuth said...

"Thank god your not a guy!"

Ebatman said...

*she tells him she run into a panty thief at the subway*

he:
how should a pantythief at the Subway ... WTF !!!

Oliver said...

OK, my turn :

Give me my ipod !!

Mattias said...

"I think you should be more conserned where your panties are, than your shoe."

Ero-Otoko said...

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to steal all your panties!"

Oliver said...

Another : OMG! It's youtube material !

On another subject, I was told I'm missing the credits on one of the pictures in the version I share of this hentai work. If you read this, Succubus, just send me the proper picture and I'll replace it in the zip I share.

Yellow Soda said...

Dialogue:Hea..HEAVEN's DOOR!!!
Caption: Hallelujah~

Mindflayer said...

"3D pig disgusting!"

JLee said...

"Ack!! Danger! Its telling me not to look away!"

Anonymous said...

Keep looking!

[What a time to lose your contacts]

Darklordzea said...

"Wax on, Wax off"
"Wax on, Wax off"

idoruoidℵ2 said...

:awesomeface: Twintails...

Anonymous said...

"Ugh! She got me"

Excuse me. Can you please share your wallpaper in high resolution? I really love it! Very artistic.

Elegant Succubus said...

Anon: Read the subtext below the image after you click on it. ^_^ ...or you could just go here.

Greco said...

Hey! Wait! Are those my Keys!?

Anonymous said...

What!? GIRLS DON'T HAVE WEE WEES!?

Cozo~ said...

OMFG! Are those prada shoes?!!!!

Anonymous said...

What The HEck!! you Cut OFF your Tail???

Kallandar said...

Wow, I see that sex change worked out for you

Azimuth said...

just thought of 2 new one

"Is that where you're hiding my phone!?!?"

and the second one is Dragon Ball inspired...

"Well, I guess I don't need to do a Pat Pat"

Azimuth said...

And one more, this one was inspired by an Oliver rant...

"You must Schlikaschlika a lot"

*slurp!* said...

*cough* *hack* so you shave after you give me hairballs!

*slurp!* said...

*cough* *hack* so you shave after you give me hairballs!

*slurp!* said...

*GAH! Your clit dissapeared!!!*

JonX said...

OMG! I wish my ass looked like that.

Oddone said...

What kind of pencil holder is THAT?!
WOAH!! Where did you get those hair ties?
I vant to suck your blood.

Anonymous said...

Yahtzee!

Anonymous said...

What, again?!! Are you really sure you're horny?

Anonymous said...

No! Don't use the spare panty in your shoe!

Anonymous said...

Now I've got pink eye!

or

Ooh! a piece of candy!

Campbell said...

"Get your shoes on! The ice cream man is coming!"

"I can see forever!"

*pant pant* "Don't worry, ma'am. I'm from the internet."

"No, no, no! Those shoes don't go with that outfit at all."

"You're black and white, too!?"
Caption: Fourth walls are meant to be broken.

"Now hold this tinfoil here!"
Caption: An odd ritual, to be sure, but it always made their TV's picture clearer than ever.

"Penis goes WHERE!?"


Yay, yay, another fun contest. I'm checking this blog as often as my favorite Webcomics these days. Keep up the good work, ES.

Niels said...

It's a trap!

cian said...

Hallelujah my wish came true

fr8o said...

OMG where is your penis!! Is it in your shoe?!

*slurp!* said...

"What? You never told me looking at you pussy made eyes disappear!" or if you prefer *pulls out eyes event horizon style* "I see everything!"

timedrifter said...

"I see London, I see France, I see... oh... wait, never mind."

Azimuth said...

"THIS....IS...SPARTA!!!"

strangething said...

OMG! I found Waldo!

strangething said...

"And you call me a pervert!?"
"Is this going to cost me!?"
"Wow! We skipped the appetizer and went straight for dessert!"
"I didn't think you were that desperate!"
"How many other suckers have you caught today with this trick!?"
"Does it bite!?"
"Its way to small! Now I have to find another girlfriend who might fit!"

wat said...

I knew it ... the pussy is in your shoe !

Masamune_Shadow said...

Girl : Well, it ain't gonna fuck itself...

Guy : !!!

*slurp!* said...

Azimuth you poor deprived man its not "This is Sparta!" its "OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!"

*slurp!* said...

Poor little Timmy was heading up to the roof with his friends when he saw the last thing he would ever expect "MOM?!?!?!?!" He wasn't able to look him mom in the eyes or go to school for weeks after.

Greco said...

Woah! You get satellite TV in there!?

Azimuth said...

"Over 9000"....lol you might have me on that one...or maybe not

Azimuth said...

"I was wondering why I smelled fish!"

Anonymous said...

"Censorship, quickly!"

kuagelo said...

"Hey, you're that succubus from last time!"

on a side note:

Anyone here knows Hentairules.net?? It's now closed!!! T_T

kuagelo said...

What the... It's working again??? ... What the heck??

hentairules.net won't work... But www.hentairules.net works?? WTF??

Oliver said...

Hey, everyone has the right to fuck up with his server, trying funny things, to the point his host unplugs one's website, right ?

Right ? ^^;;

Anyway, sorry for the 30 minutes downtime, it's working again.

fefifofum said...

hmmm...I feel like you're trying to tell me something...

batsugeku said...

Not asking for cuddle, right ?

Is it even normal you beg for it a 7th time !?

This far You didn't told me your name !

babies come from that thing ?

And what about the fact I told you I'm gay ?

Anonymous said...

"Damn...if I only had a tentacle."

*slurp!* said...

"What kind of strip tease goes from panties to shoes?!?!?!"

kodi said...

What the hell did you do to your hair!? You know I hate pigtails!

kodi said...

Wait a sec! If you're Japanese how come your box doesn't have a black strip!? All the other girls have them!

kodi said...

Stop! Ok, I believe you. You don't have to put the other shoe in there too!

Campbell said...

In response to one of Slurp's:

"Dad!?"

fefifofum's is my favorite so far, but to add some subtext:

"Hmm... I feel like you're trying to tell me something."
Caption: Yes, ladies, some of us ARE that dense.

Of course, if that one wins, credit goes to fefifofum.


Now, some more from me-

"I thought you said yours was bigger! Hah."
Caption: Five seconds later, her futanari potion kicked in. She hadn't lied.

"Now this could be a little cold."
Caption: Just another house call from the family doctor. Wait, what were YOU thinking? Pervert.

"D! For the love of Zues, D!"
Caption: A- Ask about the incident last night.
B- Help her find her panties.
C- Make a snide joke.
D- Put it in.

"Wow, it does look a lot cuter shaved! Let's do mine!"
Caption: Her short-haired sister was easily excited, and shame had never really been an issue.

"You're on Punk'd!"
Caption: Shortly thereafter, she killed Ashton Kutcher. There was much rejoicing.

*slurp!* said...

"What the fuck is this?! There is a mirror on the inside!"

100+ Alias said...

"Tell me you bought those yesterday!"

Ivan Chapa said...

"Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!"

jellyman223 said...

"HOLY CRAP I HAVE THOSE SAME EXACT SOCKS!!!!!!'

Solaratov said...

Ah! The most sacred of sensual places... the bottom of her feet!

Mofkees said...

So that's what she meant by enjoying the view!

Tecnproy said...

"I'm telling you, I droped a coin over there!"

*slurp!* said...

I believe the only phrase that can accurately describe this is "FUCK YEAH!!!!"